Geographic Ignorance
I'm sure plenty of other bloggers have written about this phenomenon in the past. But, it is something that continues to amaze me. Particularly here, in the United States, we seem to have some mental block toward learning geography outside of how to get from our house to the local liquor store in the quickest way possible. Not that this knowledge isn't useful, but you'd think people would be a little more interested in our place in the world.
The Antidote, if you didn't know it before, was born and raised in Canada. I'll admit that I didn't know much about Canada until I met him, but I certainly (a) knew where it was and (b) knew how large it was.
Apparently, I was well ahead of the learning curve, based on an e-mail I recently received that both made me laugh and cry.
Here's a reproduction:
*********************************************
Some of you may remember the saying "A stupid question deserves a stupid answer." Here it goes. Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-DA is that big country to your North... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is, oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
The Antidote, if you didn't know it before, was born and raised in Canada. I'll admit that I didn't know much about Canada until I met him, but I certainly (a) knew where it was and (b) knew how large it was.
Apparently, I was well ahead of the learning curve, based on an e-mail I recently received that both made me laugh and cry.
Here's a reproduction:
*********************************************
Some of you may remember the saying "A stupid question deserves a stupid answer." Here it goes. Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-DA is that big country to your North... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is, oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 11:11 AM
13 Death Spasms:
haha, great post Curare.
I bet Canadians are holding heads in hands and genuinely fearful that some of these pricks might actually find their beautiful country.
Why all this fuss about our nothernmost state?
-- david
I wonder if that one questioner needs help with how to stuff a beaver. I am sure that he could find the answer after the nude hippo racing.
Oh boy. We are horribly self-centered country for the most part. Canada is a great country and it would behoove all of us to learn more about the country north of our border. We share so much history and culture. Mon dieu, mon café est froid maintenant!
LOL, although I admit i dont know much about Canada at all, and can't even tell the differnce between a US and a Candian accent :\
And Americans wonder why they get a cool reception when visiting other parts of the world ~shakes head at those questioners sadly~
Once again, I have to quote my favorite comedian, Ron White:
You can't fix stupid.
Sounds like some people have 'tater salad for brains.
How's your bump coming along Curare ?
Any sickness yet ?
Come back, Curare!
-- david
Did a Canadian get your tongue?
Not sure why all the fuss about a beautiful country. You guys make me jealous sometimes. You have Sarah McLachlan (delicious) and Joni Mitchell, Jesse Winchester, Gordon Lightfoot and Neil Young among other fine songwriters. I visited Toronto long ago and recall how clean and beautiful it was. Anyway, U are linked!
Ok Ben, DA, & Egan...I'm back. Sorry for the delay. The baby's had my tongue.... :-)
Micheal: Thanks for visiting...and for the link! I'm getting back on track with posting, so hopefully there will be more for you to read soon!
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