People Say the Darndest Things, Part Deux

Back in March I posted some examples of the stupid stuff people do and say...because...well, I can.

Without further ado, here's part...Deux (yes, typing that made me feel like Austin Powers allowing himself to introduce...himself).

DUMPSTER DIVING CULT
This is new to me, but apparently there is a new lifestyle called, Freeganism. Freeganism is a combination of the words "Free," "Vegan," and "ism." Freegan practitioners are basically a rejuvenation of flower children from the 60s. Their goal is to reveal human overconsumption and waste. Ash Falkingham, a self proclaimed Freegan had this to say:

"Everything I eat comes from dumpsters."

Ash sounds like a wise, wise man. Click here if you, too, want to eat from dumpsters.

THE NEW SCOURGE IN SCHOOLS
A middle school student in Pennsylvania was suspended for three days after sharing chewing gum containing caffeine with a fellow student. The school superintendent was outraged with this girl's behavior and concerned about her students' health:

"What if the gum had been given to a student with a heart condition?"

And what if that student then stuck that gum under the desk of another student that took that gum, combined it with several household products and made a bomb out of it? Ok, so that's only realistic if the kid was named MacGuyver, but still...

CAT NAP OR QUEST FOR POLITICAL ASYLUM
Apparently, cat naps can take you far. Well, at least for this cat it did. Chairman Miaow (yes, that's the cat's name) fell asleep in a crate in China...and ended up in Britain. According to the staff members that found her:

"She loves to be petted and fussed over. I'm not surprised after all that time alone in the box."

You don't think she likes to be petted and fussed over because, oh, I dunno...she's a cat?

BE A MAN
Dan McBride, the assistant athletic director at Eastern Kentucky University, screams like a girl. Or at least I suspect that's what observers noted when McBride discovered that the snake in his passenger seat wasn't a fake. McBride's colleague, who is not a Nobel Prize winner, commented on the incident:

"You can't act tough when you are sitting a foot and a half away from a snake."

True dat. True dat.


AND THE WINNER IS....


I SMELL SEX AND...CIGARETTES?

Australian brothel owners are teaming up to seek an exemption to anti-smoking laws. Why? Well, according to William Albon, who is a member of the Australian Adult Entertainment Industry:

"People smoke when they drink, and people smoke when they fornicate..."

Well said William. Well said. If he ever decides to leave the adult entertainment industry, William has a definite future as the new spokesman for Phillip Morris.