The Disciplinarian
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when I read this article about a 53 year old woman that was spanked for being late to a sales meeting. Apparently her boss made her "bend over, put her hands on the wall and spanked her with a metal sign."
Now, I'm not sure this offense warrants her profiting to the tune of $1.7 million in compensatory and punitive damages. I think the jury should've let her put her boss over her knee and spank him in front of them. Now THAT would hurt.
This got me thinking about the appropriateness of punishment in the workplace. I mean, I would be a lot more likely to do some functional work than to, oh, I don't know, write in my blog, if my boss threatened me with a little spank.
Forget firing as a means of punishing an employee for not meaning goals. I bet a mean slap across the face would get people to work harder. Imagine that meeting:
Boss: Employee, your numbers are really down this month. Is there something you'd like to tell me?
Employee: No boss, I've just had a bad month. But my numbers over the last 15 years have been great, so I hope you take into consideration my past work performance and loyalty to the company when reviewing my file.
Boss: I have. As a result, I'm not going to put a note in your file and will only give you one slap across the face.
Employee: One slap across the face? I'll be red all day. Everyone will know what I've done.
Boss: Believe me, this will hurt me more than it hurts you.
Tell me...what kind of punishment do you wish you could exact on your fellow employees?
Now, I'm not sure this offense warrants her profiting to the tune of $1.7 million in compensatory and punitive damages. I think the jury should've let her put her boss over her knee and spank him in front of them. Now THAT would hurt.
This got me thinking about the appropriateness of punishment in the workplace. I mean, I would be a lot more likely to do some functional work than to, oh, I don't know, write in my blog, if my boss threatened me with a little spank.
Forget firing as a means of punishing an employee for not meaning goals. I bet a mean slap across the face would get people to work harder. Imagine that meeting:
Boss: Employee, your numbers are really down this month. Is there something you'd like to tell me?
Employee: No boss, I've just had a bad month. But my numbers over the last 15 years have been great, so I hope you take into consideration my past work performance and loyalty to the company when reviewing my file.
Boss: I have. As a result, I'm not going to put a note in your file and will only give you one slap across the face.
Employee: One slap across the face? I'll be red all day. Everyone will know what I've done.
Boss: Believe me, this will hurt me more than it hurts you.
Tell me...what kind of punishment do you wish you could exact on your fellow employees?
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 6:41 AM
14 Death Spasms:
Whap them with a fish...
I'd like to make it as painful for them to BE stupid as it is for me to deal with their stupidity....perhaps an electrified collar that delivers a small jolt for each bit of inanity?
(My first thoughts upon reading this post were absolutely filthy, not because of an attraction to 53 year old women, but due to a few wildly innappropriate work place flings I may have ingaged in in a land far, far, away.)
According to which boss, I might do less work for more spankings ;)
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Electro shock therepy using nipple clamps.
Pardon me while I address Fuzzbox's comment. I have been to the place he works and they are all hairy fat old guys.. makes you wonder what fuzzy box he is licking doesn't it?
Sorry curare but I must respond to cd's attack. Ahh but the corporate office.
Sorry but I must repond again.. bullshit, it is ok to have those urges stop fighting baby XOXO
Not to interrupt Fuzz and Dan's mutual love fest, but I think the best punishment for bad office coworkers is giving them back what they are giving you. The only obstacle is that most of us are better people than that and take the high road.
-- david
Ally: I'd pay a $1 to see that.
Ella: You might have to share the filthy story some time?! Your electric collar idea resembles my idea of having a zapper in your car for everyone that pisses you off on the road or cuts you off. You'd push a button and their whole car would power down for 10 minutes.
Fuzz & Dan: Did you guys drink extra large cups of hemlock?
Amulet: The mind of reason, as always. Come on, I know you. You wish you could punish coworkers by making them wear that wig you wore on Halloween.
Wow, so many choices so little money for a good lawyer. Hmmm...
I think workplace shunning would be more effective than spanking.
$1.7 MM for this. And that security guard got over $2 MM for wrongful dismissal at Bass Pro Shop.
My mother was struck by a car two years ago, and the insurance company can't even give her $500,000 for their client permanently disabling her in a parking garage.
Something's wrong here.
Siren: I know, I know. It's hard to narrow it down!
Phoenix: While I'm a staunch believer in the jury system...I also believe that most people are dumb asses and will sue over anything. I can't believe a jury gave her that much either.
I suppose it's a dead giveaway that I haven't read your blog all week.
Punishment? For my hot employees? To make out with me, of course.
I can think of a few ideas. The thing that bothers me about this story is that the woman actually agreed to the spanking and then turned around and sued the guy. I mean, wasn't she asking for it when she put her hands against the wall and spread 'em? That's just me though.
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