"A woman is only a woman..."
"...but a good cigar is a smoke." Rudyard Kipling.
Regardless of what you think about it, we all know that Americans just can't go to Cuba. We can't even think about Cuba unless we're willing to face accusations that we're supportive of a communist regime.
Unless we're thinking about Elian Gonzales, of course. Oh, that cute little boat rider.
But I digress. The real reason Americans even consider thinking about Cuba is NOT just because our Canadian neighbors to the north have GREAT honeymoons and vacations there with no remorse. No, it's because of cigars.
There is just something about a Cuban cigar. Maybe its because it feels so good to be so bad. But keep in mind that, apparently, the FBI is now taking cigar smuggling very seriously.
See, this guy just wanted to enjoy the fine taste of death bringing tobacco wrapped in a leaf by a 4 year old with really nimble fingers. All 46 boxes of them. That's all. But his hateful ex-wife...well, she had other plans, now didn't she? She made contact with the FBI, struck up a renewed relationship with her ex-husband, hid the evidence in the trash can for the FBI to retrieve, and now sits at home laughing her ass off while her ex-husband finishes out the 17 months remaining on his 37-month sentence.
And the lesson folks, without reading all the legal mumbo-jumbo in the article, is summed up by a professor at Indiana University School of Law in Bloomington:
"The moral of the story here is if you’re mad at your spouse, you’ve got to smuggle the [incriminating evidence] out of the house rather than inviting the police into the house, or invite them into the house when the spouse isn’t around."
Regardless of what you think about it, we all know that Americans just can't go to Cuba. We can't even think about Cuba unless we're willing to face accusations that we're supportive of a communist regime.
Unless we're thinking about Elian Gonzales, of course. Oh, that cute little boat rider.
But I digress. The real reason Americans even consider thinking about Cuba is NOT just because our Canadian neighbors to the north have GREAT honeymoons and vacations there with no remorse. No, it's because of cigars.
There is just something about a Cuban cigar. Maybe its because it feels so good to be so bad. But keep in mind that, apparently, the FBI is now taking cigar smuggling very seriously.
See, this guy just wanted to enjoy the fine taste of death bringing tobacco wrapped in a leaf by a 4 year old with really nimble fingers. All 46 boxes of them. That's all. But his hateful ex-wife...well, she had other plans, now didn't she? She made contact with the FBI, struck up a renewed relationship with her ex-husband, hid the evidence in the trash can for the FBI to retrieve, and now sits at home laughing her ass off while her ex-husband finishes out the 17 months remaining on his 37-month sentence.
And the lesson folks, without reading all the legal mumbo-jumbo in the article, is summed up by a professor at Indiana University School of Law in Bloomington:
"The moral of the story here is if you’re mad at your spouse, you’ve got to smuggle the [incriminating evidence] out of the house rather than inviting the police into the house, or invite them into the house when the spouse isn’t around."
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 5:01 AM
9 Death Spasms:
You know what they say about a woman scorned. I think they probably had issues deeper than cigar smuggling :)
I'm with Siren. Hell hath no fury. And his freedom was up in smoke.
Hmmmm... I thought the moral of the story might be "Don't break the law." Crazy, I know.
-- david
Well, yeah, David. But this is Floriduhhh after all. It's not like the FBI has nothing better to do than, I don't know, look for more terrorists or something.
Curare: Everytime you bring up Elian, I think of dolphins in closets with their fathers holding machine guns. The dolphins' fathers look like Janet Reno.
Or is that a South Park re-run?
Seriously, for how many more years do you think we'll get to squeeze out Elian jokes?
Siren: You think? You know she's thinking that revenge is sweet!
Fuzz: "freedom was up in smoke." ha ha
DA: You're so simple minded sometimes. ;-)
BG: We will squeeze out Elian jokes until one of two things happens:
(1) he becomes a communist dictator himself. There's nothing funny about that.
Or
(2) Hell freezes over. Cubans hate the cold weather.
Yay! I'm seriously all hand clappy and giddy. I have purpose.
Or indeed, if you're the husband, make sure she doesn't know where you get your stash from.
This whole Cuba thing confuses me greatly. Do we still fear commies in the U.S.?
BG: I'm so happy you're happy.
Ben: That's probably a better lesson to learn here.
Egan: I have no idea. But if you believe Bushie, we have everyone to fear.
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