Spelling Be

I'm not bad at spelling. Most of the time my mistakes are due to typing fast or drinking too much the night before. Luckily, the advent of spell-check has averted some near disasters for me.

The American Bar Association Journal runs a "Question of the Week" every week. Last week, the question was: "What is the funniest error you’ve ever seen that was made by a spell-check program?" Some of the responses were SO funny that I had to share:

From Michelle Lloyd, Neenah, Wis.:
Our company uses the acronym OGSM, which is more or less our company objectives for the year. When spell-checking an e-mail to my team (including my boss), I absentmindedly accepted the spell-check substitute of "ORGASM" (in all capital letters, also), and the e-mail automatically went out to the recipients. The context of the message was something like, "We need to get together to discuss the legal department ORGASM." Luckily, I was able to recall the message, but I was laughing so hard I could hardly see straight!

From Searle Mitnick, Baltimore:
We were handling a matter in which our client’s adversary was a Mr. Piscatelli. I was working at my desk one afternoon when all of a sudden my secretary starting screaming with laughter. I ran out to her workstation to see what was up. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was laughing so hard, she couldn’t talk. She just pointed to her computer screen. The spell-check program had suggested an alternate spelling for Piscatelli—"post-coital." This confirmed our belief that our client had been screwed.

From Danielle Picozzi, Washington, D.C.:
I once wrote a document in which the word "analyzing" was misspelled. Spell-check took the initiative and changed it to "anal sizing."

From Chris Mitchell, Washington, D.C: "Incontinence" instead of "inconvenience" as in: "We sincerely apologize for any incontinence caused by our delay."

From Sarah DiLorenzo, Oak Brook, Ill.: My former colleague, who was corporate counsel at an insurance company, wrote a letter to a policyholder declining coverage. In the letter, he wanted to make a reference to premises liability issues. He must have misspelled the word "premises," however, and the unfortunate result was a spell-check fix that changed the letter to the customer so it made reference to "penises liability."

From Lee Thomason, Bardstown, Ky.:
In a first letter in a new matter addressed to a lovely woman attorney, I had written, "While a review of the entire file is important, what I need from you is an initial compilation." That, when typed, became "an initial copulation," which came through the spell-check. Praise to the mentor who taught me "proofread, proofread, proofread!"

Interesting how most of the mistakes resulted in sexual references, isn't it? Click here if you're interested in reading some other submissions.