A Hitchhiker's Guide to
Malpractice
DON'T PANIC! The answer to all of your aches and pains is just an e-mail away. No, his name is not Beeblebrox. But it is Burda...which also starts with a B.
Burda is a chiropractor who believes that he can travel back in time to fix people's injuries. It is a skill that he discovered "by accident" a few years ago. I'm sure the accident involved hitting his head. Hard.
At any rate, he has apparently developed a skill to speak to injuries and tell them to go away. And he can even do this over the phone...or E-MAIL!
He calls this new healing technique, Bahlaqueem, which means...well...nothing.
The Ohio State Chiropractic Board is going crazy over this guy. They claim he's "unable to practice chiropractic according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care due to mental illness, specifically, Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type."
Ya think? Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it would rock if I could speak to my body like that. I would be my own body's drill sergeant..."Hips, get smaller. Boobs, get perkier. Hair, get shinier."
But then, I'd be delusional. Which would suck.
Burda is a chiropractor who believes that he can travel back in time to fix people's injuries. It is a skill that he discovered "by accident" a few years ago. I'm sure the accident involved hitting his head. Hard.
At any rate, he has apparently developed a skill to speak to injuries and tell them to go away. And he can even do this over the phone...or E-MAIL!
He calls this new healing technique, Bahlaqueem, which means...well...nothing.
The Ohio State Chiropractic Board is going crazy over this guy. They claim he's "unable to practice chiropractic according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care due to mental illness, specifically, Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type."
Ya think? Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it would rock if I could speak to my body like that. I would be my own body's drill sergeant..."Hips, get smaller. Boobs, get perkier. Hair, get shinier."
But then, I'd be delusional. Which would suck.
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 9:05 AM
11 Death Spasms:
I'm going to ask my chiropractor if there is any hope for me by getting in touch with this guy. I just had a neck brace I've been wearing for over a week taken off yesterday, but if he's going to fix from the time of my injury then he's going to have to go back to when I was just a twinkle in my father's eye.
Aren't most chiropractors a bit wonky, anyway? That said, this guy is wayyyy off the charts.
You are delusional. You think that we didn't already know about this story. We did.
Burda went back in time and told us you would write this. He also ensured I would have a large penis, a large ego, and a large sense of sarcasm.
-- david
Manipulating muscles with the power of the mind is a powerful thing. I hope this power does not fall into the wrong hands. Imagine opening an e-mail for cheap viagra or some wonder aprodisiac and wham. Scary very Scary.
What language do injuries understand? English? French? Swahili?
I tried to make a black-eye going away by scolding it, and all it did was become yellow.
Is this the guy who buried Jimmy Hoffa, and regularly has tea with Kennedy and Hitler?
Weirdo.
Would have happened to get the number of this guy? I gotta kink in the neck, I think it has something to do that time I fell off a horse in the Pioneer times.
Being delusional doesn't suck, dear Curare. Because you're delusional :) Everything is coming up roses.
Wait...that doesn't look right. I'm not saying YOU are delusional...I'm saying when someone is delusional. Need more coffee.
Siren: If you won't say it, I will. Again.
Curare, you're delusional.
See, that wasn't so hard!
-- david
Ben: Make sure your neck is all that he fixes!
Bruce: Wonky?! HA HA HA. And I would say "yes" to that, except that the Antidote hurt his back a few years ago and SWEARS by the work a chiro did on him?!
DA: I believe you. All except for the big ego part.
Fuzz: Then it wouldn't be a scam any more -- it would be truth!
Phoenix: Now THAT is a good question. Maybe you needed to try another language on that black eye!
Ally: You said it. He's a weirdo.
Debbie: Check his website. No need to waste valuable cell phone minutes. Just shoot him an e-mail!
Siren: Finally someone that understands me.
DA: Back at you babe. And I still don't believe the big ego.
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