Hungry?
Take a Bite Out Of This...
There's a whole new facet to McGruff the Crime Dog's "Take a Bite Out of Crime." In fact, it appears that irate people are taking this advice to heart. Just look at some examples:
(1) A woman in Milwaukee, Wisconsin bit off more than she could chew when she bit off a police officer's finger.
(2) A woman in Celina, Ohio bit off a man's tongue. The crowning statement in this article? "Police say Mescher and Ringo had been involved in a relationship." You think? How the hell else did she get his tongue in her mouth?
(3) A man (yes folks, its not just women doing the biting) in Benton, Arkansas bit a police officer on the hand. The police officer was just trying to retrieve the cocaine that fell out of the man's pocket! Jeesh!
(4) An HIV-positive man in West Chester, New York was just found guilty of four counts of assault by prisoner and aggravated harassment by prisoner; six counts of simple assault; three counts of terroristic threats; and one count each of burglary, criminal trespassing and resisting arrest after he allegedly spit at and bit police officers. There's still a dispute on whether he was spitting AT them, or just evacuating all of his bodily fluids because of the massive amounts of pepper spray used on him. The biting occurred AFTER all this, so no excuses from this Chucky-wannabe.
(5) In Palm Beach, Florida, a grown woman punched and bit her parents in a drunken rage. Now how many of us hasn't wanted to do that?
(6) In Louisville, Kentucky, a teacher bit one of her students. And not in the playful "love bite" sort of way. Although, she did have him pinned on the ground when she bit him.
This new trend is just gnawing at me. It appears that each person who was victim to the bitings above bit the bullet and braved their injuries. But I'm sure they are just chomping at the bit for some revenge.
(1) A woman in Milwaukee, Wisconsin bit off more than she could chew when she bit off a police officer's finger.
(2) A woman in Celina, Ohio bit off a man's tongue. The crowning statement in this article? "Police say Mescher and Ringo had been involved in a relationship." You think? How the hell else did she get his tongue in her mouth?
(3) A man (yes folks, its not just women doing the biting) in Benton, Arkansas bit a police officer on the hand. The police officer was just trying to retrieve the cocaine that fell out of the man's pocket! Jeesh!
(4) An HIV-positive man in West Chester, New York was just found guilty of four counts of assault by prisoner and aggravated harassment by prisoner; six counts of simple assault; three counts of terroristic threats; and one count each of burglary, criminal trespassing and resisting arrest after he allegedly spit at and bit police officers. There's still a dispute on whether he was spitting AT them, or just evacuating all of his bodily fluids because of the massive amounts of pepper spray used on him. The biting occurred AFTER all this, so no excuses from this Chucky-wannabe.
(5) In Palm Beach, Florida, a grown woman punched and bit her parents in a drunken rage. Now how many of us hasn't wanted to do that?
(6) In Louisville, Kentucky, a teacher bit one of her students. And not in the playful "love bite" sort of way. Although, she did have him pinned on the ground when she bit him.
This new trend is just gnawing at me. It appears that each person who was victim to the bitings above bit the bullet and braved their injuries. But I'm sure they are just chomping at the bit for some revenge.
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 7:49 AM
8 Death Spasms:
Scary stories !!! They all must have been students of the Mike Tyson School of Practical Negotiation skills.
It's amazing how hunger can suddenly strike at the most inopportune moments.
Maybe Americans are just iron-deficient.
I had a teacher that bit my balls once.
All I asked was if she would grade our tests overnight ... but I must have mumbled, because she thought I wanted her to to graze my testes with her overbite.
-- david
Amazing...like people don't have enough problems to deal with; now you have to worry about some deranged a-hole taking a bite out of you.
--> tpofl
The blogger gods must have heard me.
Maybe I could invent some sort of pepper spray that gives assailants lock-jaw. That'll keep 'em from biting.
I wonder if there's a patent for that. Hmmmmmmm?
On the tongue biter, I bet that he is now glad that the relationship wasn't deeper. He might have had something else bitten off.
Ben: "Mike Tyson School of Practical Negotiation skills." That made me laugh out loud.
Phoenix: perhaps your pepper spray could administer some iron to to the biters too?
DA: That explains alot. Like your penchant for tight leather pants. Maybe she was confused...did you ask her to smell your pants?
Siren: I know, weird isn't it? Remember when biting used to be considered "girlie" fighting? Now everyone's jumping on the bandwagon.
Fuzz: Now THAT would've been something to blog about...
This will make me think twice before I tell someone to "bite me"...
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