Toilet Rage
Whether we understand it or not, we all know that people kill for a myriad for reasons: war, love, hate, psychosis.
And the feeling is all the more poignant when you live with someone. Whether you want to admit it or not, you've thought at some point or another..."I could kill him/her over X." We don't really mean we want to kill our roomie or SO...or do we?
56 year old Frainklin Paul Crow of Moss Bluff, Florida was pushed over the edge of sanity by his 58-year old roommate Kenneth Matthews. Tired of having the same old argument over and over.....Franklin Paul Crow beat his roommate to death with a hammer.
Oh my god. What did Matthews do? Did he sleep with Crow's woman? Did he borrow his cologne one too many times?
No, Matthews' crime was even more heinous. Even dirtier. Even stinkier.
You see, he didn't replace the TP.
This raises all sorts of questions:
(1) Whose dooty is it to replace the TP? The person who uses the last scrap? Or the person arriving, who knows they are getting ready to use a scrap?
(2) Could this crime of passion have been averted by a simple visit to Toilet Paper World?
(3) Why does a 56 year old man have a 58 year old male "roommate?"
I'm inclined to think there was something else that pissed Franklin off. Maybe he was tired of being number 2 in Matthew's life. Or maybe he was sick of Matthew's potty mouth.
Whether there is a TP shortage in California or not, I suggest that all you little girl scouts and boy scouts carry TP in some form with you at all times. You never know, you just might avert a case of toilet rage.
And guys -- heed the warning -- PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. You could be next.
And the feeling is all the more poignant when you live with someone. Whether you want to admit it or not, you've thought at some point or another..."I could kill him/her over X." We don't really mean we want to kill our roomie or SO...or do we?
56 year old Frainklin Paul Crow of Moss Bluff, Florida was pushed over the edge of sanity by his 58-year old roommate Kenneth Matthews. Tired of having the same old argument over and over.....Franklin Paul Crow beat his roommate to death with a hammer.
Oh my god. What did Matthews do? Did he sleep with Crow's woman? Did he borrow his cologne one too many times?
No, Matthews' crime was even more heinous. Even dirtier. Even stinkier.
You see, he didn't replace the TP.
This raises all sorts of questions:
(1) Whose dooty is it to replace the TP? The person who uses the last scrap? Or the person arriving, who knows they are getting ready to use a scrap?
(2) Could this crime of passion have been averted by a simple visit to Toilet Paper World?
(3) Why does a 56 year old man have a 58 year old male "roommate?"
I'm inclined to think there was something else that pissed Franklin off. Maybe he was tired of being number 2 in Matthew's life. Or maybe he was sick of Matthew's potty mouth.
Whether there is a TP shortage in California or not, I suggest that all you little girl scouts and boy scouts carry TP in some form with you at all times. You never know, you just might avert a case of toilet rage.
And guys -- heed the warning -- PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. You could be next.
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 6:02 AM
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