Smokin' at Heaven's Door
Ok. I'm not the only one that really identified with REM's "Losing My Religion," right? Well, the Supreme Court's recent decision about religious drug use has changed my mind entirely.
Apparently, last Tuesday Chief Justic John Roberts authored an opinion from the "high" Court affirming a Brazilian based church's use of a hallucinogenic tea in their ceremonies.
Church members are amped by the decision.
I'm thinking religious leaders need to capitalize on this. I mean, this could be the answer to bringing all the lost sheep back to the flock. Imagine the influx to churches, temples and covens alike:
Good Friday - Crank it up with Jesus
Yom Kippur - Come cleanse with us - foam party at sundown.
Kwanzaa - Let's Get Ripped.
Easter - Candy baskets, they're not just for kids any more.
The Organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Lay your hands on us. X for all new members.
Oimelc - Ewe's Milk? It just tastes better with 'shrooms.
Open your mind to the possibilities.
DISCLAIMER (of sorts):
I included links for those of you who are as educated in religious matters as I am...and to stave off any complaints from the religious that I am ridiculing their beliefs...sort of.
And for those of you that think I'm too "up-to-date" on those street terms, I've got one word for you. The Internet. Ok, that's two words. Well, here's two more words for you Slang Dictionary.
Apparently, last Tuesday Chief Justic John Roberts authored an opinion from the "high" Court affirming a Brazilian based church's use of a hallucinogenic tea in their ceremonies.
Church members are amped by the decision.
I'm thinking religious leaders need to capitalize on this. I mean, this could be the answer to bringing all the lost sheep back to the flock. Imagine the influx to churches, temples and covens alike:
Good Friday - Crank it up with Jesus
Yom Kippur - Come cleanse with us - foam party at sundown.
Kwanzaa - Let's Get Ripped.
Easter - Candy baskets, they're not just for kids any more.
The Organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Lay your hands on us. X for all new members.
Oimelc - Ewe's Milk? It just tastes better with 'shrooms.
Open your mind to the possibilities.
DISCLAIMER (of sorts):
I included links for those of you who are as educated in religious matters as I am...and to stave off any complaints from the religious that I am ridiculing their beliefs...sort of.
And for those of you that think I'm too "up-to-date" on those street terms, I've got one word for you. The Internet. Ok, that's two words. Well, here's two more words for you Slang Dictionary.
You were poisoned by Curare_Z at 6:48 AM
5 Death Spasms:
Curare: I am going to report you to the authorities for your criminal behavior.
You are criminally funny!
-- david
Crank it up with Jesus! That's catchy; I think you're on to something :)
Now, if they would only switch out the stale cardboard stuff they offer at communion with an assortment of munchies...then you could count me in.
They'd be handing out Doritos instead at church for communion.
How about Hanukkah? They could have an 8 day 8 night drug orgy. They can even make their own hookah pipes instead of dreidels.
And they can light one big fat doobie every night, each one stuck in the menorah.
DA: I'm criminally funny? Dude -- you need to go back and read some of your own stuff.
Siren: Maybe we could start our own church and replace the cardboard with "brownies."
Phoenix: I like the way you think, man. You can by the high priest of the church Siren and I will start.
by = be. Ugh. My typing is going downhill fast. Must be the flashbacks....
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